In May 2009 I saw a heart break.
A woman from our church came to David and me to tell us about something that was going on in the life of a member of the Praise Team and a part of my high school girls' small group. Her 17 year old niece was five months pregnant. While talking about this we learned of this woman's second miscarriage. As she told us about her recent loss while someone so close to her was pregnant I saw her heart break. A couple of weeks earlier she had announced to the women's ensemble that she was pregnant. Initially my concern was for her niece, but seeing her heart I knew she was the one God was calling me to help.
Was I hearing God right? Does He really want me to make this offer? I had thought of helping my niece out this way, she is more like a sister to me than niece. Does He really want me to offer this to someone I don't even really know? I NEEDED TO PRAY!
I prayed, read my Bible, and listened. The lessons in church on Sundays were in James. Everything God's word was telling me was reinforcing what I had heard. Faith without works is DEAD.
I talked to David, he thought is was a "Great" idea. I asked him to pray. I talked to my Dr. she thought is was a "Great" idea. We talked to our children and asked them to pray about it. We talked about it again as a family a couple of days later. Their concerns were, will you be safe, can I "vlog" about it? Our daughter is very excited our son is a teenage boy.
The hardest part was making this offer to this woman at church. I asked her to sit down because I had something shocking to ask her. I then brought up the idea of gestational surrogacy. I offered to carry her embryo to term for her. I asked her to talk with her husband and stepson, pray, study... and let me know. She was "Blown Away". That was June 10th-ish. There were concerns; money, costs, legality... They needed to talk. I wanted them to talk. This was not a spur of the moment decision for me it needed to be same for them. Knowledge vs. Emotion. A little more than a month later ,July 17, after talking to their IVF specialist, they decided to move forward.
That is what this blog is about. This is my current act of service. My listening to God, Him directing my actions. Did I truly know what I was getting into, NO. Did I study everything I could find , YES. Do I still wonder if I heard Him right, YES.
My prayers have been very specific, God answer me LOUDLY, I do not want to make a mistake, stop this in its tracks if this is not what you want. YOUR will be done.
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Did HE dial the right number?
There have been many times I ask God if He had dialed the right number. Does he really want me to go up and ask that woman if I can tie her shoe for her? Do I go help that older couple load their bags in the trunk? Do I help that woman push her groceries to the car? Did that woman just ask me what is it that makes me different?
There are times I just do not want to do what God is calling me to do. Even to the point of hanging up. I am the only one that suffers when I don't listen. I go back and ask "please won't you give me another chance?" The one that sticks out in my mind the most was the question, the one that required no physical effort and only a one word answer, "God". I failed. I was uncertain how to answer. Shouldn't we always answer honestly? Isn't that the easiest thing to do?
Even in God's disappointment with my behavior He gives me another chance. How can I be so deserving of His belief in me when I did not believe He would protect me in my honesty?
I pray for a life of service. God has more than enough jobs. Matthew 9:37 The harvest is great, but the workers are few. All we need to do as His people is to listen for the "call" and then work.
There are times I just do not want to do what God is calling me to do. Even to the point of hanging up. I am the only one that suffers when I don't listen. I go back and ask "please won't you give me another chance?" The one that sticks out in my mind the most was the question, the one that required no physical effort and only a one word answer, "God". I failed. I was uncertain how to answer. Shouldn't we always answer honestly? Isn't that the easiest thing to do?
Even in God's disappointment with my behavior He gives me another chance. How can I be so deserving of His belief in me when I did not believe He would protect me in my honesty?
I pray for a life of service. God has more than enough jobs. Matthew 9:37 The harvest is great, but the workers are few. All we need to do as His people is to listen for the "call" and then work.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
God's Love and answered prayers
God is amazing at His ability to answer prayer, even to the minutest detail.
As a child I wanted a family and to sing for God. In middle school I learned that women outlive men on average by 7 years, so my prayers became more specific. I also knew I needed/wanted two children two years apart in age. Again even more specific. There was mention of hair color, but I think he was listening to my mom's prayers in that detail.
Of course I did not do the math or realize that the age difference would mean waiting on my part. Example: me 18 him 11, I am sure you get the idea. Because of my mathematical skills or lack of them. I became doubtful and impatient, so I took matters in to my own hands. That is another Blog. The detour that I took was a lesson in God's LOVE and Mercy. He stayed with me and kept me safe, He welcomed me back with open arms and forgave me, and even as undeserving as I was, He still gave me the desires of my heart that I had prayed for so many years before. He introduced me to the man of my prayers and blessed me with the two most perfect children. I am blessed and honored by His love and faithfulness daily. He evens allows me to help lead worship in His house some Sundays.
I also prayed for a life of service. I wanted a life where I could touch people and love them and in some cases, LOVE them. I have been allowed to do that for many years. This year He called me with the Best job yet.
As a child I wanted a family and to sing for God. In middle school I learned that women outlive men on average by 7 years, so my prayers became more specific. I also knew I needed/wanted two children two years apart in age. Again even more specific. There was mention of hair color, but I think he was listening to my mom's prayers in that detail.
Of course I did not do the math or realize that the age difference would mean waiting on my part. Example: me 18 him 11, I am sure you get the idea. Because of my mathematical skills or lack of them. I became doubtful and impatient, so I took matters in to my own hands. That is another Blog. The detour that I took was a lesson in God's LOVE and Mercy. He stayed with me and kept me safe, He welcomed me back with open arms and forgave me, and even as undeserving as I was, He still gave me the desires of my heart that I had prayed for so many years before. He introduced me to the man of my prayers and blessed me with the two most perfect children. I am blessed and honored by His love and faithfulness daily. He evens allows me to help lead worship in His house some Sundays.
I also prayed for a life of service. I wanted a life where I could touch people and love them and in some cases, LOVE them. I have been allowed to do that for many years. This year He called me with the Best job yet.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
My Adventure Begins Here
James 2:14-26:
Faith in Action
14 -17Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
18I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department."
Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove.
19 -20Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?
21 -24Wasn't our ancestor Abraham "made right with God by works" when he placed his son Isaac on the sacrificial altar? Isn't it obvious that faith and works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works are "works of faith"? The full meaning of "believe" in the Scripture sentence, "Abraham believed God and was set right with God," includes his action. It's that mesh of believing and acting that got Abraham named "God's friend." Is it not evident that a person is made right with God not by a barren faith but by faith fruitful in works?
25 -26The same with Rahab, the Jericho harlot. Wasn't her action in hiding God's spies and helping them escape—that seamless unity of believing and doing—what counted with God? The very moment you separate body and spirit, you end up with a corpse. Separate faith and works and you get the same thing: a corpse.
1 John 3:16-18:
16 -17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
When We Practice Real Love
18 -20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
1 John 4:7-16:
God Is Love
7 -10My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.
11 -12My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!
13 -16This is how we know we're living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He's given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we've seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we've embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.
Faith in Action
14 -17Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
18I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department."
Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove.
19 -20Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?
21 -24Wasn't our ancestor Abraham "made right with God by works" when he placed his son Isaac on the sacrificial altar? Isn't it obvious that faith and works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works are "works of faith"? The full meaning of "believe" in the Scripture sentence, "Abraham believed God and was set right with God," includes his action. It's that mesh of believing and acting that got Abraham named "God's friend." Is it not evident that a person is made right with God not by a barren faith but by faith fruitful in works?
25 -26The same with Rahab, the Jericho harlot. Wasn't her action in hiding God's spies and helping them escape—that seamless unity of believing and doing—what counted with God? The very moment you separate body and spirit, you end up with a corpse. Separate faith and works and you get the same thing: a corpse.
1 John 3:16-18:
16 -17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
When We Practice Real Love
18 -20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
1 John 4:7-16:
God Is Love
7 -10My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.
11 -12My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!
13 -16This is how we know we're living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He's given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we've seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we've embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)