Another first step...

I am mailing an application to another agency this morning. It was only 6 pages long... not bad. This agency is being started by the lawyers that represented me when I went with Reproductive Possibilities for the last (Failed) journey. I had told Reproductive Possiblities that I would work with them again with another couple if a couple were to be found for me. I am hard to match, I will not terminate. They may never be able to match me and I am ok with that. Read the definition below and you will know why.

1a : to bring to an end : close b : to form the conclusion of c : to discontinue the employment of
2: to serve as an ending, limit, or boundary of
3: assassinate, kill

I have read stories from surrogates that have been forced to terminate, because when they signed the contract they thought, "it will never happen to me". They have lain on a table while a living, perfect, healthy baby's beating heart is medically stopped. They are then forced to deliver or carry a dead baby, which was just alive, until delivery on another date or to miscarry “when it happens naturally”. Simply because it was one of too many babies, or the parents did not think that this child, they so dreamed for, was not perfect enough to take a chance on.
I think about agency vs. independent. Agency gives me equal representation (kinda) independent gives you a large pool to talk to. Agency allows you to avoid the talk of money personally. Independent saves the IP's money, but may end up costing the GS's money, if you don't know what to ask for. I had an agency, but the IP's closed the escrow before I could get reimbursed. They were contacted by the agency, they sent an unsigned check. That kind of stuff happens. I emailed them, it remains unanswered. That kind of stuff happens.
As a GS you are fully exposed, literally, physical exams, psyche exams, home inspections... As an IP you can leave some things hidden.
There is so much beauty in surrogacy, but with it comes some ugly too.
Pray for guidance for all of us on this and other journeys.  There is so much ...