A week of Silence

I met a potential IM last weekend.  She is lovely.  The accomplishments she has made, the desires for her future, the talent and gifts she has, the places she has been, the places she wants to go, and the dreams she has of being a mommy.
This part of "dating" is very much like after that first encounter when numbers are exchanged and you are waiting for that first phone call. "Should I call", "Will that make me seem too eager", "Will that scare them away", "Will they think I am too pushy or just in it for the money", "Will they feel less safe with me if I push". " DID THEY NOT LIKE ME?"  "Are they looking elsewhere, is there someone else?"  Sometimes this part feels so lopsided.  They have my last name, I have shared my personal email, they want my insurance information, they need to know what I expect...  I do not have their email address, I will have no information on their insurance or finances.  I have been an open book I want them to feel safe with me, I have nothing to hide.  But, here I sit wondering where I stand.  My first journey was all personal and I learned a lot.  My second journey, failed pregnancy, I had agency representation and I felt protected,  This journey will be independent of agency, but I Will be represented.  The problem is without that middle man being paid to drive things forward sometimes journeys stall and change course without explanation or notification.  "Dating" is hard. It leaves room for much self doubt and examination when the line of communication goes quiet.  I love the idea of the agency, it is like having a chaperon, but it costs the IP's $$$$$ that could be better spent on their child. 
I have many conversations with God about His desires in regard to my desire to be a surrogate. Am I doing this for His reason?  Will He direct me to the parents He has picked out?  He answers.  He reassures me.  It may not be the "definite" answer I seek, but it is His presence.  His "I am here" and "I am listening", that gives me the strength to continue down this road and know that the answer is there.  It is in the beautiful smile of a mommy I know and a very special little girl that I walked past today, in what was a time span no more than a couple of breathes, but in I saw God's power and faithfulness.  Today in the lesson at church we talked about God: True, Good and Beauty.  Before the lesson HE showed me in that mommy who's arms are full of a beautiful little girl, HE is all this and more.