Wow it has been a long time since I have put my feelings down. We at the Swangel household have been SO busy, and the pregnancy is going fine there really hasn't been much to post.
I went to the Dr today for a two week check up. Everything is going great. I have gained a total of 13 pounds, my blood pressure was 100/66, I am measuring perfect and the baby's heartbeat sounds GREAT.
It has been difficult emotionally lately. We have been so busy that I was exhausted. It is hard to feel confident when all you feel is tired and "used". My weight gain wasn't bothering me, but my husband's business was. I was taking his lack of time personally. He is great and supportive, but I had reached that point of neediness and there was no time for that . It has settled down and I now feel much more like myself again.
I got to spend some time with a friend who is 3 weeks and 6 days ahead of me in her pregnancy. It was nice to be pregnant and it not be about the intended mother expecting. I just need some of the attention to be about me. I know, very selfish!
It is odd to feel the baby move and want to share it, but for different reasons. I love the reassurance God gives me with the baby's movement. I am uncertain how I feel about the upcoming delivery and separation. The contract is so cold and impersonal. The hospital may not let me have MY babies with me, so here I could be with empty belly and empty arms.
I continue to pray for the ability to let go of myself and let GOD. Please pray for this amazing child keeping me company on this journey.
