Cycle day 6 and still negotiating

Lawyers are needed.  Lawyers can get “in the way”.  Lawyers are here to protect us.  Lawyers believe in themselves.  Lawyers make a “regular” person feel taken care of.  After all, that is what they are being “retained” to do.  Lawyers protect us from others and ourselves. 

In the first journey we did not get our own representation.  We believed that we would get fair representation, which did not happen.  The second journey we went with a law firm (The IP’s current law firm) that I had talked to about helping one of their “clients” (in the future possibly).  I met with two of the firm’s lawyers (June 2011) they told me how unfairly we had been treated previously, told me how much I should have been  compensated and told me what they would be asking for compensation for me.  Then months later they asked me to help a couple they had represented a couple of times before.  I thought we have had the conversation they had given me a dollar amount, they know what we “need” based on my wages and previous contract negotiations, they know my doctor, they know where I preferred to delivered, and they know my insurance they have “looked” through it twice now. They are now saying that the wording in the previous contract, the one they represented me in, had wording that if used for this contract could appear as insurance fraud.  WHAT????? Why is it now that they are not representing me it isn’t good enough but when they supposed to be MY lawyers it was ok?  That my Dr isn’t good enough and that the hospital is not good enough???

I have had cycle day one.  It came two days after the date I would have started meds based on the day that should have been cycle day one.  The lawyer had “conveniently” sent a fax to the RE stating that we had “negotiated the terms of the Gestational Agreement” on May 18, 2012, so that I could start meds when they wanted. (I hadn’t even seen a contract yet)  I got the contract June 6, 2012, five days after my projected cycle start.  I find it disheartening that it was so important to take care of the IP’s that “they” would be untruthful in order to work out their intended timeframe and not have me taken care of fairly.  I would have been on meds. I would have felt “forced “to sign a contract having already been on meds.  My life and family’s lives and my schedule have been on hold since I committed to this in early March. 

I feel “picked on” or “bullied” by a lawyer that came to me and asked me to help.  I feel it all started when I said I wanted our own representation.  But… the contract was unfair and very one-sided.  The comp was LOW.  Every part of my life was being “restricted’, my doctor, my hospital, my diet, my travel, my value (lost wages), my choice of doctor is being challenged again.  They would rather I go to a Dr. that knows the IF as a “buddy” rather than me go to a doctor that knows my body and the previous pregnancy.  They want me to deliver at a hospital that is almost twice as far away and up a road that is “prone” to “rush hour” traffic in which a person can sit in for several minutes to an hour or more at times.  The hospital I delivered at, and would prefer to deliver at again, for various reasons; level III NICU second in the state, less than 10 miles away from my home and even closer to work, and the treatment they provided on my first surrogacy journey was AMAZING.  I told my lawyer to inform the IP’s lawyers that if they wouldn’t agree to using my doctor that the RE could pick a doctor that neither side had ties to and I would switch.  The lawyer wants the power to approve or disprove any travel.  The lawyer is pushing the hospital.  No one besides me is going to be “naked”, I am the one doing all the “work”, and I have a family, job and life.   I do not understand the “change” in camaraderie. I am not asking for special treatment, I am asking for a Dr that I believe in and he knows me, a hospital that I know will take care of me and make special arrangements for the IP’s.   I am asking to value me at what I make not at what I am worth, because I am worth A LOT more than a dollar amount that a man decided to pay me more than five years ago.  I understand that the IP’s are spending a fortune.  I understand that the IVF cost a lot. 

The money isn’t my issue.  Compensation is compensation. But I am a grown woman.  I have had two babies of my own.  I have had a surrogate baby. I have had no complications while pregnant, other than the baby having tachycardia.  SO treat me like I am a grown woman that knows what she is doing, that is intelligent enough to make the right decisions, which would not risk the life of anyone’s over her life. 

I pray that we are on the way to agreement.  I pray that God guides my heart, mind, words and actions.  I pray for success.  I pray that the IP’s become P’s.  I pray that God is GLORIFIED. 

Heavenly Father,  You know my heart.  You know my fears, You know my worth.  Heavenly Father You know the desires of the IP’s hearts.  Lord, Your will not mine.  not my life, but Yours.

Amen

Negotiations have begun

Well.  I met with our lawyer yesterday afternoon.  It is hard working the contract.  Mostly because there are people, their money, their baby and my life involved.  I had given our lawyer some information to look over while reading the contract initially, regarding comps and fees.  I gave her a number that I was comfortable with...  She countered me after doing her research and gave me a number.  I told her to go lower.  I was very uncomfortable.  There is need for the comp.  My family will benefit.  This contract is very controlling of my life and lifestyle, more so than the other two, put together, I have had.  I do have a son starting college in the fall.  He was unable to secure any grants or scholarships. We lowered some fees, left some the same, changed my "lost wages" (still asking lower than my current salary).  We needed to be able to travel to Valdosta to visit our son at college, but not asking for travel out of state other than visiting my parents aged 83 and 92 for Christmas, and only if the OB approves my travel.  I requested permission to BLOG, of course with no mention of anyone's name and only about me and our experience.  Blah, Blah Blah.  I mean who reads this stuff anyway?
Well,  the counter has been made.  Please PRAY.  I am so thankful that there are lawyers in between us.  I am so thankful that our lawyer is an amazing woman of God.  I am so thankful!
Dear Heavenly Father,
Your will not my own.
Amen!

Here I sit 10 Days late and 4 Negative HPT's

So… Here I sit.  I have received the contract as of June 5, 2012.  I am currently 10 days late and 4 negative HPT’s late for the start of my cycle.  I have never been this late.  I believe the stress of May got to me and I did not ovulate.  Here is what May was to me.
• Delay in getting contract.
o Based on waiting for test results(they were complete 5-15-12)
• My father-in-laws Cancer is back and fighting, all other forms of defense have been played, he is moving on toward Chemo
o Had first treatment
• Mother’s Day (a sad IM not getting to celebrate it)
• Our 19th wedding anniversary
• Our daughter turned 16
• My Birthday
• In-Laws came to visit
• Our son graduated high school
• VBS worship team rehearsal twice weekly
• Two weeks before VBS a new songs added and needs to be choreographed
• The company I work for is facing many difficulties and the pressure has been put on.
• Waiting for my cycle to start June 1-3, 2012

I got the contract there are “concerns”
o Base comp(quite a bit lower than what this same law firm told me I should ask for a year ago when we met{before they started their own agency})
o Travel restrictions that would not allow me to go see my son at college his first year of school, or even move him there without getting together with a Dr and receiving permission.
o Lost wages more than $300.00 less, a week, than what I “bring home” weekly.
o Required to deliver at a hospital that my OB/GYN does not deliver at, so I would be required to change Dr’s (How many people need to see me naked?)
o Someone named Donald as the beneficiary/guardian of my life insurance policy for my underage children if I die.
o And a statement that “said” my husband and I expressly waived rights for legal representation.
o Not allowed to BLOG

I know everyone is “in a hurry” to get the meds started.  Believe me I wish we were at a point of starting.  I just know that I need to take care of my family first and foremost.  I understand that the IP’s need to be protected, the problem is so do I and if everyone is looking out for them who is looking out for me?  The whole reason I did everything I have done already without a contract is because everyone wants to protect the IP’s.

I wonder sometimes if God is holding onto my cycle until He is happy with how both sides are being cared for.  I said it earlier I have never been this late.  My body is God’s.  I am excited that He cares for me that much.  I am also a very impatient person and I am struggling with the delay.

Please pray that we can get this contract done this week ,my cycle starts and we can get on the road to making this amazing God fearing couple mommy and daddy.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I am Yours.
Amen!