I start new medicines tomorrow.
Remember when I posted that the medicines alone will require their own blog. This is it.
DOC 1 through DOC 5
Lupro 5 units
Estrace 1 tablet twice a day
1 81mg Asprin
DOC 6 through DOC 9
Lupron 5 units
Estrace 2 tablets twice a day
1 81mg Asprin
DOC 10 through DOC 14
Lupron 5 units
Estrace 2 tablets three times a day
181mg Asprin
DOC 15 through 19
Lupron 5 units
Estrace 2 tablets twice a day
1 81mg Asprin
Doxycycline 1 tablet twice a day
Progesterone 50mg IM
Medrol 16mg once daily
DOC 20 Embryo Transfer
Estrace 2 tablets twice a day1 81mg Asprin
Progesterone 50MG IM
DOC 21 until pregnancy test
Estace 1 tablet twice a day
Progesterone 50mg IM
The Estrace and Progesterone will continue I do not know at what dosage or frequency. I find that out when I test positive.
Keep Praying.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Contract WOES!
I do not know where to start, what to say.
This contract part of the surrogacy is not going as I hoped. In reading it there are a lot of things that need to be fixed. I am certain some of it has to do with me assuming that since I am doing this as a "gift" and not a "job" that the intended parents would be as generous and concerned about my well-being as I am about theirs. I am understanding more each day why people go through an agency or do this for family members only. I thought that since "payment" was not involved that this would be easier. I was wrong!
I have tried to help cut costs for the intended parents anywhere I can. I had the blood test done by my Dr instead of the IVF clinic saving them more than $2000.00, I agreed to not have my own lawyer (thinking that theirs would be for both parties) since they would have been responsible to pay for mine independently, this made the contract solely in their favor. I am learning a lot! I cannot seem to get the intended father to understand that I cannot go without pay if I am ordered to "bed rest", and will need to have lost wages guaranteed, that Life Insurance is for more than paying for a funeral.
I know that God will take care of it all. I have a problem with my humanness wanting it to go differently, now. It feels as though my value in their eyes is less than, instead of equal. I have been on the first medicine for almost a week now, the intended mother assured the clinic that a contract wold be in place before I started. I believed that this lawyer was representing both sides, so it would be "FAIR", "EQUAL", so this would be done faster. The contract was late, now there are "issues" with it, and here I am on a drug possibly for no reason. I am praying.
Please pray.
This contract part of the surrogacy is not going as I hoped. In reading it there are a lot of things that need to be fixed. I am certain some of it has to do with me assuming that since I am doing this as a "gift" and not a "job" that the intended parents would be as generous and concerned about my well-being as I am about theirs. I am understanding more each day why people go through an agency or do this for family members only. I thought that since "payment" was not involved that this would be easier. I was wrong!
I have tried to help cut costs for the intended parents anywhere I can. I had the blood test done by my Dr instead of the IVF clinic saving them more than $2000.00, I agreed to not have my own lawyer (thinking that theirs would be for both parties) since they would have been responsible to pay for mine independently, this made the contract solely in their favor. I am learning a lot! I cannot seem to get the intended father to understand that I cannot go without pay if I am ordered to "bed rest", and will need to have lost wages guaranteed, that Life Insurance is for more than paying for a funeral.
I know that God will take care of it all. I have a problem with my humanness wanting it to go differently, now. It feels as though my value in their eyes is less than, instead of equal. I have been on the first medicine for almost a week now, the intended mother assured the clinic that a contract wold be in place before I started. I believed that this lawyer was representing both sides, so it would be "FAIR", "EQUAL", so this would be done faster. The contract was late, now there are "issues" with it, and here I am on a drug possibly for no reason. I am praying.
Please pray.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Why Surrogacy?
I have been told I am "crazy", especially when I tell people that there is no payment to me involved. All I asked for is that I do not have to spend any of my family's money to do this. I just need my medical bills covered, a life insurance policy, just in case, and lost wages if needed. I cannot ask my husband and children to suffer for a ministry of service that I am doing.
Before I started this journey I had no idea how painful infertility is or just how many people suffer from it. In studying surrogacy I have found more and more stories of hurting people. YouTube is full of videos. Here a couple of links to get you started. I cannot tell you how it feels myself. I can only tell I saw a heart break. Pray for all those suffering. Listen to their hurts, hold their hands, and pray.
http://www.docshop.com/education/fertility/statistics-facts/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6rVC1uBhl8
Before I started this journey I had no idea how painful infertility is or just how many people suffer from it. In studying surrogacy I have found more and more stories of hurting people. YouTube is full of videos. Here a couple of links to get you started. I cannot tell you how it feels myself. I can only tell I saw a heart break. Pray for all those suffering. Listen to their hurts, hold their hands, and pray.
http://www.docshop.com/education/fertility/statistics-facts/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6rVC1uBhl8
Monday, September 14, 2009
Lupron Shots
My Lupron shots started yesterday. WOW! Now I am nervous. Up to this point it was still a "maybe", now it is really going to happen. I am so excited. The shots are not that bad. They are little needles with little med. This morning I did get a bruse, I am sure it will not be the last.
Yesterday I did the shot with the help of a dear friend that is a nurse. This morning I did the shot with an audience of David and Abigal. David filmed it, so he could record Abi's reactions. It was fun to see their reactions an concerns. We are all in this together. I am so glad that I have my famly and friends to help me through this.
I praise God for His faithfulness and Love.
Please pray for the embryo.
Yesterday I did the shot with the help of a dear friend that is a nurse. This morning I did the shot with an audience of David and Abigal. David filmed it, so he could record Abi's reactions. It was fun to see their reactions an concerns. We are all in this together. I am so glad that I have my famly and friends to help me through this.
I praise God for His faithfulness and Love.
Please pray for the embryo.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Sonohystogram
September 2, 2009 was the sonohystogram. The day didn't start off well. I left work late, I missed the exit, ans that caused me to be late. I hate being late. "On time" for me is late. This was a very important appointment. If this didn't happen the transfer won't happen.
I was 7 minutes late, but I did get there before the intended mom.
The first part of the appointment involved lack of key clothing articles, a speculum, Betadine, a catheter, saline solution, an internal sonogram and a big MESS. Results were immediate; my cervix is easy and my uterus perfect.
The second half of the appointment was supposed to be my medicine protocol. "This is what and when it will happen, these shots begin this day, this pill this day, this shot this day, these two other pills this day, ultrasound this day and transfer this day." The nurse gave me no help. I actually had to ask her to show me how to give myself a shot, telling her "I have never done this before". I still feel very uneducated, but I have a dear friend that is a RN that is going to help with the first shot. I left very disappointed.
I guess the nurse still sees this as the intended mom as the patient not me. The nurse even told her that "it will be the same as the last time." I wasn't there the last time. How am I supposed to know what to do? The mom and I do not live together, I do not want her to do my shots, I am just getting to know her.
LUPRON stars September 13, 2009. This is the "easy" shot. I will put a blog up that lists all the meds later.
Please pray for the embryo!
I was 7 minutes late, but I did get there before the intended mom.
The first part of the appointment involved lack of key clothing articles, a speculum, Betadine, a catheter, saline solution, an internal sonogram and a big MESS. Results were immediate; my cervix is easy and my uterus perfect.
The second half of the appointment was supposed to be my medicine protocol. "This is what and when it will happen, these shots begin this day, this pill this day, this shot this day, these two other pills this day, ultrasound this day and transfer this day." The nurse gave me no help. I actually had to ask her to show me how to give myself a shot, telling her "I have never done this before". I still feel very uneducated, but I have a dear friend that is a RN that is going to help with the first shot. I left very disappointed.
I guess the nurse still sees this as the intended mom as the patient not me. The nurse even told her that "it will be the same as the last time." I wasn't there the last time. How am I supposed to know what to do? The mom and I do not live together, I do not want her to do my shots, I am just getting to know her.
LUPRON stars September 13, 2009. This is the "easy" shot. I will put a blog up that lists all the meds later.
Please pray for the embryo!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I learned to say "no"
At the appointment with the psychologist, she made a point of telling me I need to learn to ask for what I need and say "no". She told all four of us at the appointment that we need to remember that is my body and their baby. We need to go back and forth between those two thoughts to keep a healthy balance.
My first opportunity to say no came when we were talking about my sonohystogram. The intended mother wanted to come with me and I am still working on being ready to have people see me naked. At that date it is still just my body, no baby.
That was hard. I just don't want to loose myself in this pregnancy. I know I have made this offer, but where should I draw the line? I still need to be allowed to live my life as myself also. I do not want to be pushed aside and forgotten for the sake of the baby.
Praise God for the friends He has placed in my life. I know I have support when needed and a friend to tell me what I need to hear.
My first opportunity to say no came when we were talking about my sonohystogram. The intended mother wanted to come with me and I am still working on being ready to have people see me naked. At that date it is still just my body, no baby.
That was hard. I just don't want to loose myself in this pregnancy. I know I have made this offer, but where should I draw the line? I still need to be allowed to live my life as myself also. I do not want to be pushed aside and forgotten for the sake of the baby.
Praise God for the friends He has placed in my life. I know I have support when needed and a friend to tell me what I need to hear.
Friday, September 4, 2009
I have to do what?
I had done a lot of studying. I read books, looked at agencies, watched VLOGS, searched articles on the Internet... I thought I had learned enough to know what I was getting myself into, before I even offered. Ultimately what I learned is there is always more to learn.
I took tests, some physical some mental. I have been poked and prodded. I have learned more about myself.
Tests Taken:
I took tests, some physical some mental. I have been poked and prodded. I have learned more about myself.
Tests Taken:
- 567 question Psych evaluation
- every STD known
- Rubella immunity
- Pelvic
- sonohystogram
- sounding
- Patience
I have yet to see the results from the psych evaluation. I do know that I have no STD's, I am immune to Rubella, my thyroid is fine, my cervix looks good and is easy, my uterus is perfect, and this takes a LONG time.
There are a lot meds required I will post that schedule later. There are still a couple of things that need to happen for this to work. The contact must be in place. The intended parents must not change their minds. MOST importantly, the embryo must be healthy. Please pray!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Beginning
In May 2009 I saw a heart break.
A woman from our church came to David and me to tell us about something that was going on in the life of a member of the Praise Team and a part of my high school girls' small group. Her 17 year old niece was five months pregnant. While talking about this we learned of this woman's second miscarriage. As she told us about her recent loss while someone so close to her was pregnant I saw her heart break. A couple of weeks earlier she had announced to the women's ensemble that she was pregnant. Initially my concern was for her niece, but seeing her heart I knew she was the one God was calling me to help.
Was I hearing God right? Does He really want me to make this offer? I had thought of helping my niece out this way, she is more like a sister to me than niece. Does He really want me to offer this to someone I don't even really know? I NEEDED TO PRAY!
I prayed, read my Bible, and listened. The lessons in church on Sundays were in James. Everything God's word was telling me was reinforcing what I had heard. Faith without works is DEAD.
I talked to David, he thought is was a "Great" idea. I asked him to pray. I talked to my Dr. she thought is was a "Great" idea. We talked to our children and asked them to pray about it. We talked about it again as a family a couple of days later. Their concerns were, will you be safe, can I "vlog" about it? Our daughter is very excited our son is a teenage boy.
The hardest part was making this offer to this woman at church. I asked her to sit down because I had something shocking to ask her. I then brought up the idea of gestational surrogacy. I offered to carry her embryo to term for her. I asked her to talk with her husband and stepson, pray, study... and let me know. She was "Blown Away". That was June 10th-ish. There were concerns; money, costs, legality... They needed to talk. I wanted them to talk. This was not a spur of the moment decision for me it needed to be same for them. Knowledge vs. Emotion. A little more than a month later ,July 17, after talking to their IVF specialist, they decided to move forward.
That is what this blog is about. This is my current act of service. My listening to God, Him directing my actions. Did I truly know what I was getting into, NO. Did I study everything I could find , YES. Do I still wonder if I heard Him right, YES.
My prayers have been very specific, God answer me LOUDLY, I do not want to make a mistake, stop this in its tracks if this is not what you want. YOUR will be done.
A woman from our church came to David and me to tell us about something that was going on in the life of a member of the Praise Team and a part of my high school girls' small group. Her 17 year old niece was five months pregnant. While talking about this we learned of this woman's second miscarriage. As she told us about her recent loss while someone so close to her was pregnant I saw her heart break. A couple of weeks earlier she had announced to the women's ensemble that she was pregnant. Initially my concern was for her niece, but seeing her heart I knew she was the one God was calling me to help.
Was I hearing God right? Does He really want me to make this offer? I had thought of helping my niece out this way, she is more like a sister to me than niece. Does He really want me to offer this to someone I don't even really know? I NEEDED TO PRAY!
I prayed, read my Bible, and listened. The lessons in church on Sundays were in James. Everything God's word was telling me was reinforcing what I had heard. Faith without works is DEAD.
I talked to David, he thought is was a "Great" idea. I asked him to pray. I talked to my Dr. she thought is was a "Great" idea. We talked to our children and asked them to pray about it. We talked about it again as a family a couple of days later. Their concerns were, will you be safe, can I "vlog" about it? Our daughter is very excited our son is a teenage boy.
The hardest part was making this offer to this woman at church. I asked her to sit down because I had something shocking to ask her. I then brought up the idea of gestational surrogacy. I offered to carry her embryo to term for her. I asked her to talk with her husband and stepson, pray, study... and let me know. She was "Blown Away". That was June 10th-ish. There were concerns; money, costs, legality... They needed to talk. I wanted them to talk. This was not a spur of the moment decision for me it needed to be same for them. Knowledge vs. Emotion. A little more than a month later ,July 17, after talking to their IVF specialist, they decided to move forward.
That is what this blog is about. This is my current act of service. My listening to God, Him directing my actions. Did I truly know what I was getting into, NO. Did I study everything I could find , YES. Do I still wonder if I heard Him right, YES.
My prayers have been very specific, God answer me LOUDLY, I do not want to make a mistake, stop this in its tracks if this is not what you want. YOUR will be done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)