The Waiting Game and Money

I know I have mentioned it before, if not here, verbally to friends, I do not know what wait is worse, the TWW or the search for the next journey. 

I have been working with a couple for a few weeks. We have shared emails, IM's, texts, and phone calls. I was asked to share my fees and expectations and I sent them off January 18, 2011. I have heard back a couple of times, but I am still waiting to see where this is going.

Emailing my fees was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Money is a subject that is the end of many relationships; marriages, friendships, churches, purchases,... I do not want to offend. I do not want to come across as though I am only in it for the money. The facts are; it costs money to be pregnant, it costs money to go to the Dr., the amount of food changes, a clothing allowance toward maternity clothes only goes so far, one phone call used up most of my monthly minutes and the texts are not free on my end.  Will money be the deal breaker?

I am going independent again.  I sent paperwork to two agencies.  The person interviewing in both cases said my "no abortion" stance will make it harder to match me.  Going with an agency would be so much easier.  The talk of money would have already been taken care of before we met, the "negotiation" would be on contact more than money.  I was offered up to $32,000. with one agency because I was experienced and if I carried twins.  That is not what I am asking of this couple because I am not in this to get rich.

I am a part of a social network for surrogates and IP's. One blog/conversation I came across was questioning why we(surrogates) wanted money, why we want clothes, if we love being pregnant why do we want to be paid to do it.

Doing the first surrogacy it was at an expense to us($$$$.); insurance premiums (now higher after a pregnancy), food, clothes, gas to the appointments, and parking.  At the lowest fee I found online the pay rate comes out to $2.678 per hour if the pregnancy is 40 weeks long, that is not including the time at the start of the meds "pre transfer" or the healing time post-partum. My last pregnancy would have been at an hourly rate of $2.575, not counting the start of the meds or the healing time post-partum (I had a c-section and had to go back to work 5 days later because I had to go back to supporting my family).  A pregnancy is not a 9-5 job, it is a 24/7 job.  Every activity must be approached with the other family considered.  It is no longer just you and your family.

Why do we want compensation?  Why do we want to feel appreciated?  Why do we want to feel as though what we are doing has a value? 

Why the wait?  Is it the money? Have I offended?

Praying and seeking God's guidance.  Please pray for me.

yesterday

I forgot to mention that yesterday was my mommy's 82nd birthday and that the my Bible verse of the day was

Romans 12
A Living Sacrifice
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Possibilities

I spoke to a great couple last night. I am praying for them and our family as we embark on a new journey together. I am excited, but trying to keep a level head as well. I want so much to take the surrogacy journey again, and as I stated in earlier posts my age does not allow me "years". I really like this couple. Talking to them was easy.

We have some similarities and agreeable ideas:
No to termination
Yes to openess and sharing
My family is important too
They like the idea of the clinic I have used already
They are ok with me using my current OB/GYN
It will be a journey of varied emotions
Let's move forward and see what the clinic says

We have a few diffences:
They both are in their 30's, on our end only David is
They have a 2 year old and a 10 year old, ours are both teenagers

I am sure there are more to list under both.

I am EXCITED. I am praying. I will update.

New Direction

Well...

It has been a long time and lots has happened and nothing has happened.

Our family did some traveling for Christmas, December 23-27. We went to a retreat center with the extended Swangel side in KY. There was food, videos, cards, crafts, Wii, singing, presents, sledding (thanks to my husband), a trip to see Narnia, and a BAPTISM. There were 20 of us there, we rented three cabins and the lodge and had a great time.

MCCC Christmas programs were fabulous. The adult choir sang Sunday night December 12 and the children had their program December 19, in the evening.

There was also a wedding, a ladies brunch, a Christmas parade, our son's second musical production of the year, and David's mother came for a weekend.

The surrogacy journey is standing still at the moment. I am working with an agency, and have now got all but one piece of paper turned in. I still really want to do this. I fear though as I continue to get older everyday my chances are reduced. I am praying for God's direction.

So as I wait for the answer I have decided to get in shape, spiritualy and physically. David and I have started a 30 day program with Wii active four days ago, and I have started two different reading programs and studies in my Bible with the "YOU version" Bible app. So this will become my accountability. This is my challenge, that as I get to know God better through His word and study as I work on His "temple" this body physically also. I hope to drop 13lbs by my birthday, if the weight loss doesn't happen I hope to at least "Jiggle" less.

I pray that as I work on my relationship with God the relationships that I have with His children improve. I pray that as I work on His "temple" this body physically that I learn to love it as much as HE did and does as its Creator.