Lawyers are needed. Lawyers can
get “in the way”. Lawyers are here to
protect us. Lawyers believe in
themselves. Lawyers make a “regular”
person feel taken care of. After all,
that is what they are being “retained” to do.
Lawyers protect us from others and ourselves.
In the first journey we did not get our own representation. We believed that we would get fair representation,
which did not happen. The second journey
we went with a law firm (The IP’s current law firm) that I had talked to about
helping one of their “clients” (in the future possibly). I met with two of the firm’s lawyers (June 2011) they told me how unfairly we had been treated previously, told me how much
I should have been compensated and told
me what they would be asking for compensation for me. Then months later they asked me to help a couple
they had represented a couple of times before.
I thought we have had the conversation they had given me a dollar
amount, they know what we “need” based on my wages and previous contract
negotiations, they know my doctor, they know where I preferred to delivered, and
they know my insurance they have “looked” through it twice now. They are now
saying that the wording in the previous contract, the one they represented me
in, had wording that if used for this contract could appear as insurance fraud. WHAT????? Why is it now that they are not
representing me it isn’t good enough but when they supposed to be MY lawyers it
was ok? That my Dr isn’t good enough and
that the hospital is not good enough???
I have had cycle day one. It
came two days after the date I would have started meds based on the day that
should have been cycle day one. The
lawyer had “conveniently” sent a fax to the RE stating that we had “negotiated
the terms of the Gestational Agreement” on May 18, 2012, so that I could start
meds when they wanted. (I hadn’t even seen a contract yet) I got the contract June 6, 2012, five days
after my projected cycle start. I find
it disheartening that it was so important to take care of the IP’s that “they”
would be untruthful in order to work out their intended timeframe and not have
me taken care of fairly. I would have
been on meds. I would have felt “forced “to sign a contract having already been
on meds. My life and family’s lives and
my schedule have been on hold since I committed to this in early March.
I feel “picked on” or “bullied” by a lawyer that came to me and asked
me to help. I feel it all started when I
said I wanted our own representation. But…
the contract was unfair and very one-sided.
The comp was LOW. Every part of
my life was being “restricted’, my doctor, my hospital, my diet, my travel, my
value (lost wages), my choice of doctor is being challenged again. They would rather I go to a Dr. that knows
the IF as a “buddy” rather than me go to a doctor that knows my body and the
previous pregnancy. They want me to
deliver at a hospital that is almost twice as far away and up a road that is “prone”
to “rush hour” traffic in which a person can sit in for several minutes to an
hour or more at times. The hospital I delivered
at, and would prefer to deliver at again, for various reasons; level III NICU
second in the state, less than 10 miles away from my home and even closer to
work, and the treatment they provided on my first surrogacy journey was
AMAZING. I told my lawyer to inform the
IP’s lawyers that if they wouldn’t agree to using my doctor that the RE could
pick a doctor that neither side had ties to and I would switch. The lawyer wants the power to approve or
disprove any travel. The lawyer is
pushing the hospital. No one besides me
is going to be “naked”, I am the one doing all the “work”, and I have a family,
job and life. I do not understand the “change” in camaraderie.
I am not asking for special treatment, I am asking for a Dr that I believe in
and he knows me, a hospital that I know will take care of me and make special
arrangements for the IP’s. I am asking to value me at what I make not at
what I am worth, because I am worth A LOT more than a dollar amount that a man
decided to pay me more than five years ago.
I understand that the IP’s are spending a fortune. I understand that the IVF cost a lot.
The money isn’t my issue. Compensation
is compensation. But I am a grown woman. I have had two babies of my own. I have had a surrogate baby. I have had no
complications while pregnant, other than the baby having tachycardia. SO treat me like I am a grown woman that
knows what she is doing, that is intelligent enough to make the right decisions,
which would not risk the life of anyone’s over her life.
I pray that we are on the way to agreement. I pray that God guides my heart, mind, words
and actions. I pray for success. I pray that the IP’s become P’s. I pray that God is GLORIFIED.
Heavenly Father, You know my
heart. You know my fears, You know my
worth. Heavenly Father You know the
desires of the IP’s hearts. Lord, Your
will not mine. not my life, but Yours.
Amen
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